I CONFESS...on Monday I ate 6 chocolate covered almonds! There is a story behind it, of course, but I'll save you the details. I just hope I don't throw anyone else off, because I'm back onboard and doing well. Monday night, the kids let me play the bubble game on the Wii. Has anyone played it? I love it, but I haven't played it since we first got the Wii, which I think was 3 years ago. Anyways, it first does a body check, and I've lost 10 pounds since 3 years ago. That motivated me to get back on track with sugar, and add a diet to it. The only way I know to lose weight is to track every morsel that goes in my mouth, which I started yesterday. Sparkpeople is recommending 1400 calories, very doable...if I have things on hand like papaya, bananas and squash which fill me up without too many calories.

Maybe more information than you wanted to know, and sort of a strange thing...but all of a sudden I realized yesterday that my hemorrhoids have not bothered me for weeks. I am also sleeping better with less hot flashes. Imagine what could happen if I also took my vitamins and exercised?

I was sort of disappointed as while to me my stomach looks not so round, when I measured my waist, and compared it to like 6 years ago, it is an inch bigger. Maybe I really tightened it a lot the last time? Those are the things that can really discourage me, because I want the pounds and inches to fall off as I get this area of life under control by God's grace. But whether they fall off or peel off ounce by ounce, or whether I stay the same, I know I'm being obedient to what God wants me to do with getting rid of the sugar. I KNOW I need to add exercise, vitamins and track calories. And maybe it is time to add one of those! But all three overwhelm me right now.

Day 26-ish: Yesterday, I pre-meditatedly ate a mini Hersheys (with toffee) that my sister Dawn sent down. I had been eying it in my closet for over a week. It was in celebration of finishing my 2 weeks no sugar, plus an extra 11 days without sugar that I did with my sister Beth. I have to tell you, while it was yummy, I was happy to note it wasn't as yummy as I remember chocolate being, and I'm back on my NO sugar diet. I don't want to stop. I feel better, I have more energy, and I think the weight is coming off, although slower than I would like. I still suffer cravings, but they come and go pretty quickly and have not been overwhelming. I attribute all to the power of God, who gives strength to the weak (of which I am the weakest). My will power in the past has been zero-zilch. So why the change? I don't know exactly. God can transform our minds, and He took the desire for sugar away as He helped me purpose not to eat it.

Day 18: Well, I took my 11 year old daughter, Meleah, out for a date yesterday, and caved a little with some frozen yogurt. (Sorry Bethie, hope that doesn't make you cave, too!). I ate probably 2 or 3 tablespoons, exactly 6 half-spoon fulls of these small spoons off of her dish, hey it was 1/2 off!! I wish I wouldn't have. And in the end it may have been a good thing, because it was NOT worth it, it did nothing for me, and I am back on board full-steam ahead. Not posting real regularly these days, but am still happy with this choice to kick sugar out of my life. I am feeling really good. It has definitely helped with the afternoon slump, I just wish it would give me more energy at night, but by about 8:30, I am still one grumpy Mom. A friend of mine cut out sugar AND coffee. I had just been thinking maybe it was time to cut out the coffee, but just don't know how I'd get through the morning, probably a sure sign I need to do it. So if you see a 2 week No Coffee Challenge up, you'll know where it came from. But give me a year or two to mull it over.

Day 15: The temptation was a little harder yesterday as Lydia and her friend made some great looking choco-chip cookies, and I was so so hungwy. Aunt Dawnie Pooh sent a box with a tupperware container FULL of chocolates!! But she also sent me a new PJ top, short sleeved for these hot flashy menopausal nights, and when I slipped into it, it was all worth it! My tummy bulge is way less, and if I had tried it on 15 days ago, I'm sure I would have put it in the give-away pile. So fun to have new lounge pants and PJ top! Weight slinked just below 140. Roughly 9 pounds to go!

How did I withstand the temptation, well, it was the Lord again giving strength when I had none, and providing me with a delicious papaya, LAAARGE, which Sophia and I ate yesterday...the whole thing! Also, having a partner helps. I'm so glad to be doing this my little sister Bethie, because that's what kept me motivated yesterday...I CAN'T let her down!

Day 13: I don't know what happened to Days 11 and 12. I really don't. Life is busy, isn't it? Anyways, the night before last I dreamed something...all very vague now...but something like I was making cookies with the kids, and I first took a little finger- dip-ful of dough, then another, then scoops of it, then polished off like a dozen cookies. I woke up feeling like "Rats, I REALLY blew it big!". I cannot tell you the joy I felt when I realized it was just a dream!

Today went fine...I had to go get copies made for Sunday School, and have some books spiral bound for a fellow teacher. As I waited and waited...and waited and waited because a) customer service is not what it is in the states, the lady seemed to be twin to a turtle, and b) they all kinds of printer problems, she cleared the same jam like hundreds of times, the candy they sell looked more and more tempting. The hour was getting later and later and I was getting more and more hungry. Good thing I had Meleah with me, who is also doing the no sugar challenge, or I might have caved under the excuse of buying a snackie-poo for whatever child I had with me. Instead we went to the dollar store, and I got her a pair of binoculars, and took her out to look at the stars. Of course, it had to be a super cloudy night, so at best we got a clouded view of the moon. But hey, the cheesy moon IS sugar free! Side note, I'm very proud of Meleah, because when I told her that her Aunt Bethie was just starting the 2 week no sugar challenge, and that I was going to go it with Bethie, adding on 10 more days, she said she wasn't going to stop either.

Sounds ridiculous, but I am dreading when they try to pass me the sugary drink after teaching Sunday School tomorrow. So far that has been the hardest thing to pass up. I do bring a bottle of water, but by that time I'm always parched from trying to maintain control of 17 zero-eight year olds and am usually rather hungry because my snack alarm starts to go off.

The good news today is I noticed a definite improvement in my desire to snack between breakfast and lunch. I didn't have (or want) a mid-morning snack today! And I've lost like 4 pounds. Still have about 11 to go, so not great, but I'll take it. I'm back to my pre-United States trip weight! Buy-buy BurgerKing Blubber!

Days 9 and 10: Yesterday was our anniversary...14 years of marriage! I can only say I'm doing this with God's help...it is NOT my strong will power, I am so weak when it comes to succumbing to sugar! I associate dates with David with ... ice cream! There is a yummy ice cream store...American quality...in the mall that is walking distance. We went to the mall and got something to eat, but I didn't glance at the ice cream store. It was a bit hard as I think 90% of the people who go to the mall go to get ice cream, so it seems like you're always seeing something yummy go by in the hands of someone.

As a snack, we got some arepas, and we asked first if they had sugar in them. The guy said they don't add sugar, but that they use sweet corn meal. Well, we ate them, and so I'm not sure if I cheated or not.

Today has been easy.

The only strange thing is that I have felt slightly nauseous ever since about 2 days into this. Not terrible, just a slight nausea, and not all the time. I stopped taking my iron supplement, thinking maybe that was doing it, and I don't think it has really helped. Not even sure it's related. Maybe it's a virus or I have some nice parasites or something, who know.

Day 8: So far this is SO much easier than I ever dreamed. The neatest thing is I don't feel hungry all the time like I did when I was eating sugar. It makes sense now, since sugar turns off our "I'm full" switch.

My biggest disappointment is I thought maybe I'd lose lots of weight easily and quickly. I think I've dropped maybe 2 or 3 pounds, but that could be just normal fluctuation. Of course, I'm not really trying to diet, just survive for right now without sugar. But I do feel like I'm eating less just because my appetite is less than it was.

I do not slump hardly at all in the afternoons like I used to. Even when I don't get a great night's sleep, I still don't slump much in the afternoons. It's wonderful!

Day 7: The craving is back, full force. I associate Sunday School, which always leaves me very thirsty, with a nice sugary drink because teachers are served right along with the kids the snack. I was feeling PARCHED and particularly provoked to partake of the pop. And Gansitos...as my sister described a similar item from Colombia...chalk cake with a delightful waxy chocolate covering. Only these also have a gratifying gelatinous jelly filling. But I withstood. Got home and made low-sugar gluten-free brownies for us and the sugar full/flour full version for David to take to a meeting. I then also had to withstand all the temptations that go along with brownies...not a little luscious lick of the pot? Not a criminy crumb to see if they were as good as the kids said they were? Not a morsel of a crumb left on a napkin? Just a particle from the edge of the pan? NO. Withstood. But it's only 4:15 :-). Thanking the Lord for every minute of victory, I am WEAK but He is strong.

Day 6: A little harder today, but I made it. Cookies in the oven, the smell of them!!! Sigh.

Day 5: As easy as pie! Well, almost, I had to turn up cupcakes at a friend's house for supper. David and I were out alone, and I associate that with a treat! So the temptation seemed a little harder. I was also tired today. I stopped taking my iron supplements because they were making me constipated, and being awake in the middle of the night last night probably didn't help my energy levels either. When I'm tired, I often look for a sweet treat to get me over the hump. I ate 2 little bananas, bananitos. It did seem to get me over the hump. Anyway, overall, not a bad day and with the Lord's help, withstood the challenges.

Day 4: Piece of cake so far. (And no, I didn't eat cake). We had to go get pictures taken for our visas. Took the kids to get a McDonald's ice cream cone in the mall. I (thankfully) wasn't hungry and didn't want one or I really don't know if I could have withstood. It was really hot out, so for that reason alone those cones looked attractive. Before that, for lunch, I was cutting up lettuce and carrots for a salad, and I ate a piece of lettuce. It tasted sweet! Carrots even sweeter! Just took a spoonful of peanut butter and it was REALLY sweet. OK, they add sugar. Out it goes. So I guess at the end I can't say I was 100% successful :-). I don't feel super energetic. I keep hoping it will happen. Matter of fact, I'm pretty sleepy, but that could be just because I did get up at 5:15 trying to get ready for teaching Bible Club Saturday, Sunday School and the ladies' group on Sunday. I still feel really bloated, and I don't know why. But other than that my feeling sick has subsided from yesterday.

Day 3: Well, the good news is, I have had no sugar cravings again. The bad news is right after lunch I had some really bad stomach cramps. I laid down for about 15 minutes and they subsided a bit. I am feeling sick to my stomach and REALLY bloated. I don't know if it's severe sugar withdrawal symptoms, the result of 3 days eating red beans, or if it's a flu. My husband, David, was feeling some of the same symptoms, including feeling hot and then the chills. If this is withdrawal, I hope it doesn't last long! I really didn't want to do even sugar substitutes, but I drank about 1/2 c of H2Oh.

Day 2: Yesterday was another easy day! NO desire for sugar at all, disgusted with the whole thing. My daughter Meleah, 11, is doing the no sugar challenge with me, and she said "Mom, I've been sleeping so much better. If I do wake up, I fall right back asleep." I didn't even know she was having problems sleeping. An added benefit of no sugar, I guess. I, however, have not been sleeping well. I think it is more menopause related than anything to do with the diet, though.

Lost 2 pounds! Sugar turns off the "I'm full" signal in our bodies. I believe it. I am LESS hungry not eating sugar. I am just praying that the Lord continues to remove the desire for sugar, I am WEAK WEAK WEAK and the sugar pull is so strong.

A Life-Long Enemy

Goal: My goal is to cut out sugar for 2 weeks. That's my initial goal, but I'd love to stay sugar free. I'd like to lose 15 pounds. I think by cutting out sugar, I'll feel better, lose weight, and have more energy. I'm giving it 2 weeks to see if that's the case.

I was convicted of my sugar gluttony watching a video that compared the effects of fructose with the effects of alcohol. With two alcoholic parents, it struck me hard. I watched the effect of alcohol on their marriage. I watched my mom change as she drank, and get harsh and just not herself. I watched her writhe on a bed with a broken hip, long term results of an alcohol-induced fall, I watched her suffer, not knowing her liver and lungs were shutting down at the same time. I miss my mom, and wished she had lived differently so she might be alive. With God's help, I want to give a different example to my kids and be alive to see my grand-kids, no small feat since I had my kids later in life.

My days are in God's hands, and I know he can shorten or lengthen them. And he can certainly let me live the consequences of my sugar addiction. I also know in Him is the power to live right and to withstand temptation. I know I will need to cry out to Him for that power day by day and at times second by second. One of the fruits of the Spirit is self control!

Stats: I'm 5'6" tall, and weighed in at a whopping 66 kilos, 145 pounds. I had it down to 139 before our 5 week McDonald-munching-BurgerKing-Banqueting-Wendy's-Wolfing trip to the states. My goal weight is 130. (I was 120 pounds when we got married 14 years ago, but I figure I get a few extra pounds for having 6 kids. See how good I am at justifying?)

Daily update: Today is Day 1. I think it went easier than I expected mainly because I am mad at myself for not having more self control and for not doing this a year ago when my sister invited me to try it with her. So that anger-adrenalin is pumping. I ate an egg and a banana for breakfast, 1/2 glass milk mid-morning. For lunch, we had rice, red beans, corn and pork. Veggie??? Oops! Maybe tomorrow. I had a few nectarine slices as a snack this afternoon, and am going to make pizza for supper. I plan to eat the gluten free variety that I make for my husband and sons that are gluten-intolerant. I don't think flour helps me meet my goals at all. Flour and sugar are the enemy of the day.